CONVERGENCE 11

“For goths, forming the tiny percentage of the population that they do, plus being spread out all over the world, the need to meet and greet those such as oneself under a full moon can become painfully paramount… At its best, Convergence is a truly magical event. Convergence was created for and by the users of alt.gothic newsgroups.” – Nancy Kilpatrick, The Goth Bible

Convergence is one of the largest and longest running goth gatherings in the United States. It is held in a different city each year in the spring.

This year, we “converged” on San Diego, another place I’ve always wanted to see. It began with a kick-off party on Thursday April 21st and it ended with a masquerade ball on Sunday April 24th.

I came away with a number of ideas that I’d like to share with you, but before I do that I really must tell you about the fashion. Fashion is a big deal to me. I respect the goth notion that basic black is the absence of fashion but I favor the idea that fashion is an artistic expression of who we are not only as goths but as people. Fashion can change the way you feel and think about yourself. It can help or hinder your sense of individuality and identity, it can make you feel wonderful or uncomfortable and it can speak not only to who you are but to who you want to be.

The fashion statements made at Convergence 11 were first of all unadulterated. Baby bats either make their purchases thoughtlessly from Hot Topic or they mix and match in an effort to find the niche that best expresses who they are. Many seasoned goths mix and match with the intention of finding a unique expression. But at Convergence the death rockers were pure, some of the best I have ever seen. Victorians (my kind) were in mass as well, and so well-dressed they looked like they stepped out of the pages of history. Cybergoths, rivet heads, ethereals, punks, perky goths, vampires and even goth-a-billies abounded, but beyond the usual crowd some individual and unique creations stood out.

Many designed and made or had someone else make their clothes. One gentleman told me he was a civil war re-enactor and he wanted his gothic appearance to reflect that value and historical period. He wore a black civil war military hat and a coat that he designed but was made for him by one of my favorite designers, Kambriel. Another gentleman had a black pirate thing going on that was breathtaking. Many ladies wore period pieces. They did so with an uncommon attention to detail and strict adherence to the chosen period.

“The thing about goth fashion is that it reflects who you are,” one designer told me. “What are your values, what makes you feel elegant, what periods of history best speak to your heart? Then give that look a gothic twist. There is only one you so your look should be unique and difficult to categorize.”

Coincidentally, the spring 2005 issue of Gothic Beauty features the classic designs of Dark Angel, as well as Victorian and death rock looks, but it also presents some very unique styles. One reminiscent of the flappers of the 20’s by Doll Flesh and something really special they are calling “Gangster Noir” by Joy of Killjoy Productions.

Okay, enough about fashion.

Convergence 11 also had a film expo featuring films from independent gothic filmmakers. The filmmakers provided a panel discussion on Sunday. Too bad it wasn’t better attended. They did a great job.

At the art exhibit and I wanted to buy everything. I couldn’t show you pictures of the art online even if I had been allowed to take them owing to copyright infringement, but writing about art, fashion and film just can’t capture the beauty of it and beauty is what we’re talking about. Convergence 11 was beautiful from the San Diego setting to the people and their fashions, to the art and music. It should have been called beauty con.

Okay, so let me give you a little sequential analysis.

On Friday Convergence 11 officially began with a meet and greet that lasted from 2pm–6pm in the courtyard of the lovely Shelter Point Hotel. I showed some photos of the meet and greet to my not goth sister-in-law and she said, “I’ve never seen so much black.” It was awesome.

At 6pm on Friday there was a flea market where you could exchange or barter for clothes, music and movies or anything else goth. I met a young lady at the “swap meet” that made garments out of chain mail. She had a crusader-esque corset with a gothic cross on the back that was amazing. I told her about Sean and his armor.

At 7pm the shuttle started up to 4th and B, the local goth club that hosted the evening debauchery. DJs and bands played all through the night—every night. By Monday morning hungover goths were laying like litter all over the hotel grounds.

As to the bands, Friday featured Shaolin Punk, Mister Monster, More Machine Than Man, and one of my favorites Ego Likeness.

Saturday featured the event I’d been waiting for and it was my favorite event of the trip, the courtyard tea party and fashion show. The schedule of events described it as “an opportunity to wear one’s finest while taking brunch and tea. A salon style fashion show will let everyone see the designs at close range as the models stroll through the tea party.”

The tea party was $20 extra, but it was well worth it. The crowd was at least as well-dressed as the models—and the models exhibited some truly creative fashion designs. This event also gave us another opportunity to talk, meet and greet—more on social and spiritual interaction later.

At 2pm on Saturday I went on the alt.gothic fashion-shopping spree. There was a $5 fee for this excursion that basically paid for the tour bus. We went downtown to a kind of alternative shopping district. I had actually never seen the inside of a fetish shop and after seeing one I hope to never see another. Fortunately there was only one fetish shop on the tour. The other shops were vintage, second hand or alternative clothing places. They also had some cool second hand book shops in the area.

Imagine a busload of goths invading your favorite shopping district. I never tire of seeing the looks on people’s faces when a crowd of dark culture people walk by, but the people of San Diego were kind and courteous enough to take us in with a wink and a smile.

At 7pm the main fashion show was presented indoors. I enjoyed the afternoon courtyard show better because it was less formal, less noisy and less risqué. Some of the fashions were great, but too much of it was over the top. To the fashion designers out there, please ask yourself one question before you sit down to design, “who will wear my clothes?” Some of the pieces I saw paraded, I can tell you no one purchased or wanted to.

4th and B featured a Saturday night modeling talent contest. Donna Ricci of Wicked Talent gave the winner “a fully-sponsored membership, marketing team, and portfolio induction into Wicked Talent.” I really wanted to enter but, alas, I chickened out. They only had one, okay maybe two, male models all weekend so I thought with the dearth of male talent I might have a chance, but then this little voice inside said, “you’re too old and short to strut your stuff on a catwalk you idiot.” Unfortunately, I listened to that voice. Hey, you only pass this way once. So I’m old and short so what? Needless to say, not participating in that event was my one regret of the weekend.

Saturday night bands included Mercurine, Machine in the Garden, The Strand, and the oh so awesome Azoic.

On Sunday, I could have attended any number of workshops including a “witch dance” workshop in honor of the “Dark Goddess,” or “basic rope bondage,” or I could learn to “make my own spun wool dreads.” Hum, lets see…nah! I decided to see San Diego. I hired a cab and went to La Jolla, Mission Beach and the San Diego Zoo. When I returned, a young lady wanted to show me what she’d learned in the rope bondage class. I had to decide: do I run or scream?

Now some of you might be scratching your heads saying, “wasn’t this a mission?” Yes it was and I said I’d address the issue of “social and spiritual interaction,” so I will indeed. I hate generalities about populations and I think goth has suffered enough of these. So I have no wish to add insult to injury by making more here so let me qualify what I am about to say by specifying that I did not interact on a personal level with every attendee but with those I did I noticed a tendency to distrust Christians. In casual conversation people expressed alarm at the so-called conservative right wing agenda that they rightly or wrongly associate with Christianity.

It seemed to me that these individuals are at least as guilty of pre-judging and pigeon-holing Christians, as Christians are guilty of doing the same to them. I pointed this apparent hypocrisy out to no one. Instead I spent most of my time listening and seeking to forge a friendship. Herein lies the little miracle of the weekend.

Upon hearing harsh criticism of my faith, my natural tendency is normally to retreat or to jump to defend my beliefs and myself, but as I sat and listened, all I could feel was love—overwhelming divine love. People spat in my Lord’s face, they pulled out his beard and beat Him and yet He said, “Father forgive them for they know not what they do.”

As I looked into the faces of so many around me, my heart broke with the love that only wants to hold and cherish them—each one—God’s own creation. I had no contempt, no anger or fear. I felt only love. For me, that was a miracle of the presence of God in my life.

Some negative opinions about my faith have been formed in some gothic hearts. They presumed that no Christian would want to enter their domain, so they naturally (I assume) presumed that I was “one of them” rather than one of “those people.” Stereotypes must fall and the best way to topple them is not by fear, isolation, or hatred, but by integration.

Jesus didn’t just walk among us; He became one of us. I am not just walking among goth I am a goth. Goth is the commonality that opens the door for communication and it provides the basis for sharing in each other’s company.

“Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus. Who, being in the form of God, thought it not robbery to be equal with God. But made himself of no reputation, and took upon him the form of a servant, and was made in the likeness of men. And being found in fashion as a man, he humbled himself, and became obedient unto death, even the death of the cross” Philippians 2: 5–8

He came to us and who did He choose to associate with? Did He seek out the high places, the spiritual “giants?” Did He seek to be loved and admired by the religious leaders of His day?
Jesus became the friend of sinners.

“And it came to pass, as Jesus sat at meat in the house, behold, many publicans and sinners came and sat down with him and his disciples. And when the Pharisees saw it, they said unto his disciples, Why eateth your Master with publicans and sinners? But when Jesus heard that, he said unto them, They that be whole need not a physician, but they that are sick. But go ye and learn what that meaneth, I will have mercy, and not sacrifice: for I am not come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance.” Matthew 9: 10–13

“But did you declare the gospel?” I hear some of you say. “How can you call it a mission if you don’t declare the gospel?”

I am reminded of a testimony I have posted on my site. It is the testimony of a young lady that is dear to my heart. In fact, I would call her the sister I longed for and never had until November when we finally met in person.

She said, “I decided to reconnect with a guy I had been friends with through middle school and high school. I lost touch with him when I went to college. We started spending time together. I knew something was different about him, but I didn't know what. He had made new friends and I started going out with them, too. I later discovered that they were his church friends. I wouldn't have spoken to them if I had known. He wisely told them to let me be, not to hassle me about my religious beliefs. Over time I realized what was going on, but I had already gotten to know his church friends as real people, and they weren't so bad. I decided that if they wanted to believe in God I could tolerate it. They started to become more open and honest about their faith around me. Eventually, I started going to church with them on Sundays and even visiting their Sunday school class.”

Integration breaks down the walls of prejudice.

What if I had defended my faith against the accusations I was hearing? What would have happened? I don’t know. I prayed that God would direct my every action and word—and in those moments of decision I did not feel at liberty to debate. My suspicion is that had I chosen to argue I would have invited the deep freeze.

I believe God is calling me to patient cultivation. I will be present, a servant and a friend until they can say as Jamie did, “I had already gotten to know his church friends as real people.” Not as political antagonists, but as people. I believe those I interacted with saw my heart and in so seeing it will make my faith more palatable, and eventually, I may win not so much a convert as a brother or sister, not so much for a short term friendship or acquaintance, but for eternal intimacy.

We aren’t called to make converts. We are called to make disciples. Answering this call will take time, personal investment and commitment to the long-term relationship.

David Dellman