MARCH
2005
“Husbands, love
your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for
it. That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by
the word, That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having
spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without
blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that
loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh;
but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church.”
Ephesians 5:25–29
The call in this verse
is not to “lord it over” our wives but to lay our lives down
for them, to sacrifice ourselves for them. It is infinitely harder to
live for the benefit of someone else than it is to die for her. Christian
men are called to give of our selves for our wives.
“Husbands, love
your wives, and be not bitter against them.” Colossians 3:19
“Ye husbands,
dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honor unto the wife, as
unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life;
that your prayers be not hindered.” 1st Peter 3:7
“A Christian
husband should be intimately aware of his wife’s needs, her strengths
and weaknesses, and her goals and desires.” – Nelson
Study Bible
“Honor” =
to place value upon, to treasure, to appreciate, to show consideration
for, to dignify, to hold in high regard, to protect and cherish, respect,
esteem.
“That your prayers
be not hindered” = when a man does not honor his wife his prayers
are not heard. When men do not honor women, the fabric of a civil society
erodes.
“A Christian
husband’s spiritual relationship with God is directly affected by
the way he treats his wife.” – Nelson Study Bible
We are surrounded by a
culture that wants to use, abuse and then discard women but we serve a
God that created men to love, honor and respect them.
“Choose you
this day whom ye will serve… but as for me and my house, we will
serve the Lord.” Joshua 24:15
We serve the Lord when
we serve, honor and protect women.
“Pure religion
and undefiled before God and the Father is this, To visit the fatherless
and widows in their affliction, and to keep himself unspotted from the
world.” James 1:27
In the ancient world most
women were absolutely dependent on men. Land belonged to men, wealth belonged
to men, and the right to divorce was primarily a man’s. Without
a man in her life, a woman would often starve.
Today we are told that
women are strong and independent. They no longer need a man to shelter
and protect them. That may be true, but to whatever extent that is true,
it is and will always continue to be the obligation and the duty of every
man to protect every woman. Without being intrusive or chauvinistic, we
can protect women from unwanted advances and assaults, we can protect
them from the effects of porn, from the aftermath of abortion and we can
protect them from inequality. I believe it is part of our calling as men
to do so.
My purpose in writing
is to lay the groundwork for what I hope will be a new sensitivity and
a new emphasis in the abortion debate. I’d also like to see a masculinity
emerge, a masculinity that is “defined by how well, not how
badly, men treat the opposite sex,” – The Benevolence
of Manners by Linda Lichter
We have an opportunity
to set an example, a standard for men everywhere. We can demonstrate by
our behavior that the measure of a man is his respect for all women and
his love for one and only one woman in particular.
In practical terms, we
can choose to resist pornography and porn brokers. We can speak out for
equal protection and equal rights in the courts, in business, in employment,
and in the church. We can also make it easy for a woman to choose life
by taking responsibility. We can make it easy for a woman to choose life
by taking responsibility even when the actions are not ours.
We can advocate for the
life of an unborn child but not to the destruction of a woman that is
bearing the pain and suffering associated with the aftermath of abortion.
To those women that are suffering in silence, we can become instruments
of healing.
It is the failure of men
to honor their duty and commitment to women that has led to the plague
of abortion and porn in our land. We will heal our land by learning to
be responsible men. When Godly men stand up to the sickness and abuse
that our society is directing at women, it will stop.
We condemn the Muslim man
for abusing Muslim women while the men of America rape, beat and exploit
our women. Until we stop such abuses at home we can’t hope to stop
them abroad.
Judgement must begin in
the house of God. Please examine your lives. Ask God to convict where
conviction is necessary and deliver where deliverance is needed. Pornography
is a crime against humanity and a sin against God, but by the blood of
Jesus, the power of sin is broken and anyone caught in the ugly foul snare
of porn can be delivered.
Likewise, when sex is
waited for, anticipated and then shared in the context of holy matrimony,
it is the truest expression and facilitator of love between two people.
But when it is made to serve the whim of lust in a premarital or extramarital
capacity then what God intended as holy and good becomes cheap, common
and ugly. Faithfulness to one and only one woman is integrity and life.
Anything else is a compromise.
“‘Boys will
be boys.’ With a shrug and that abhorred excuse, too many Americans
dismiss a smorgasbord of abuses against girls and women… 89% of
girls in elementary and secondary schools were subjected to demeaning
sexual comments or gestures. Nearly as many said they had been touched
or grabbed. 3 out of 5 women executives have experienced sexual harassment
in the workplace. Two million women are battered each year… 160,000
women were raped in 1993… the silent epidemic of violence against
women is drastically underreported to legal authorities… the first
major fallacy is that the true character of ‘boys’ is to be
cruel, selfish, and disrespectful.” – Linda Lichter, The
Benevolence of Manners
Violence against women
must end now. I believe it is God’s call on men to stop it.
It is my dream that where
Christian men have failed to listen to the call of God to love and cherish
women, Christian goth men will set a new standard and present a new example
of sincere and holy love.
“Goth is a realm
devoted to the deepest yearnings of the collective unconscious. It respects
what has been traditionally called feminine values in both men and women…
beauty, love, refinement, creativity…” – Nancy
Kilpatrick, The Goth Bible
Remember, injustice for
one is injustice for all. As long as the weak suffer at the hands of the
strong, women at the hands of men, the poor at the hands of the rich,
as long as one suffers at the hands of another the mission of mercy in
our land is incomplete and its cry must be continual in our ears.
Consider the story of
the woman caught in adultery (John 8:3–11). The question I’ve
always had is where was the man caught in adultery?
Is it possible to be caught
in adultery alone?
Is it possible to carry
a child alone, or to suffer the consequences of abortion alone?
Only when the men responsible
fail in their responsibility is it possible.
Shall women of our day
bear the burden of the sin of men even as the woman caught in adultery
did in Jesus day?
The consequence of the
sin of abortion, the consequences of sexual sin belongs to men. But women
carry the torment that is rightfully ours, just as the woman caught in
adultery was about to bear the penalty for adultery alone.
Jesus loved women. Jesus
valued women in a way that was counterculture. We must heed His example.
“Jesus went
to His death attended by a loyal following of women who had stood by Him
throughout His ministry. Women played a major part in Jesus’ life
and work.” Wayne House
What follows was based
roughly on observations presented by Wayne House in Nelson’s
New Illustrated Bible Commentary:
He came into this world
with the trust and obedience of a woman.
“Behold, thou
shalt conceive in thy womb, and bring forth a son, and shalt call his
name Jesus,” Luke 1:31
“And Mary said,
Behold the handmaid of the Lord; be it unto me according to thy word,”
Luke 1:38
Jesus was loved and cared
for as a child by a woman.
“And when they
saw him, they were amazed: and his mother said unto him, Son, why hast
thou thus dealt with us? Behold thy father and I have sought thee sorrowing.
And he said unto them, How is it that ye sought me? Wist ye not that I
must be about my Father’s business? And they understood not the
saying which he spake unto them. And he went down with them, and came
to Nazareth, and was subject unto them: but his mother kept all these
sayings in her heart,” Luke 2:48–51
Women provided financial
support for Jesus’ ministry.
“And it came
to pass afterward, that he went throughout every city and village, preaching
and shewing the glad tidings of the kingdom of God: and the twelve were
with him. And certain women, which had been healed of evil spirits and
infirmities, Mary called Magdalene, out of whom went seven devils, and
Joanna the wife of Chuza Herod’s steward, and Susanna, and many
others, which ministered unto him of their substance,” Luke
8:1–3
It was a woman that provided
one of the most memorable examples of generosity faith and trust recorded
in scripture.
“And Jesus sat
over against the treasury, and beheld how the people cast money into the
treasury: and many that were rich cast in much. And there came a certain
poor widow, and she threw in two mites, which make a farthing. And he
called unto him his disciples, and saith unto them, Verily I say unto
you, That this poor widow hath cast more in, than all they, which have
cast into the treasury. For all they did cast in of their abundance; but
she of her want did cast in all that she had, even all her living,”
Mark 12:41–44
While the disciples remained
essentially clueless as to the coming fate of Christ, it was a woman who
recognized His suffering and prepared His body for burial.
“Now when Jesus
was in Bethany, in the house of Simon the leper, there came unto him a
woman having an alabaster box of very precious ointment, and poured it
on his head, as he sat at meat. But when his disciples saw it, they had
indignation, saying, To what purpose is this waste? For this ointment
might have been sold for much, and given to the poor. When Jesus understood
it, he said unto them, Why trouble ye the woman? For she hath wrought
a good work upon me. For ye have the poor always with you but me ye have
not always. For in that she hath poured this ointment on my body, she
did it for my burial. Verily I say unto you, Wheresoever this gospel shall
be preached in the whole world, there shall also this, that this woman
hath done, be told for a memorial of her,” Matthew 26:6–13
It was women who stood
by Him in His darkest hour.
“Apparently
most of Jesus’ disciples had fled in fear of the Jewish and Roman
authorities when Jesus was sentenced to die. But these women were faithful
followers to the end.” George Knight
And it was to a woman
that He first appeared after His resurrection.
“The first day
of the week cometh Mary Magdalene early, when it was yet dark, unto the
sepulchre, and seeth the stone taken away from the sepulchre. Then she
runneth, and cometh to Simon Peter, and to the other disciple, whom Jesus
loved, and saith unto them, They have taken away the Lord out of the sepulchre,
and we know not where they have laid him. Peter therefore went forth,
and that other disciple, and came to the sepulchre. So they ran both together:
and the other disciple did outrun Peter, and came first to the sepulchre.
And he stooping down, and looking in, saw the linen clothes lying; yet
went he not in. Then cometh Simon Peter following him, and went into the
sepulchre, and seeth the linen clothes lie, and the napkin, that was about
his head, not lying with the linen clothes, but wrapped together in a
place by itself. Then went in also that other disciple, which came first
to the sepulchre, and he saw, and believed. For as yet they knew not the
scripture, that he must rise again from the dead. Then the disciples went
away again unto their own home.
But Mary stood without
at the sepulchre weeping: and as she wept, she stooped down, and looked
into the sepulchre, and seeth two angels in white sitting, the one at
the head, and the other at the feet, where the body of Jesus had lain.
And they say unto her, Woman, why weepest thou? She saith unto them, Because
they have taken away my Lord, and I know not where they have laid him.
And when she had thus said, she turned herself back, and saw Jesus standing,
and knew not that it was Jesus. Jesus saith unto her, Woman, why weepest
thou? Whom seekest thou? She, supposing him to be the gardener, saith
unto him, Sir, if thou have borne him hence, tell me where thou hast laid
him, and I will take him away. Jesus saith unto her, Mary. She turned
herself, and saith unto him, Rabboni, which is to say, Master. Jesus saith
unto her, Touch me not; for I am not yet ascended to my Father: but go
to my brethren, and say unto them, I ascend unto my Father, and your Father;
and to my God, and your God. Mary Magdalene came and told the disciples
that she had seen the Lord, and that he had spoken these things unto her,”
John 20:1–18
There are many things
we can do to change. To begin, I would like to see a new emphasis in the
pro-life movement, a new sensitivity to women that are suffering in the
aftermath of abortion.
Imagine being a woman
who has had an abortion. Perhaps the realization that your baby is lost
to you has set in. You are sitting alone in church grieving. You’ve
been crying but no one really notices.
Then the preacher shouts
about murder from the pulpit and you feel you cannot tell anyone of your
pain. You add shame and guilt to the grief you already feel. What would
they think of you if they knew? And so you carry your pain and sorrow
alone.
The woman sitting next
to you in the pew on Sunday is probably feeling these very things even
while she smiles and greets you warmly.
What we need in the Church
is a pro-life movement that defends and protects women as much as unborn
children.
At this moment in history,
the church is militantly pro-life to a degree that is damaging and detrimental
to women. It is time now for the church to be as militantly pro-woman
as it has been militantly pro-life. If we really want to save our unborn
children we must begin by saving women. It is time to be militantly oppositional
to everything that hurts or degrades women—to porn, domestic violence,
inequality, rape and abortion.
Injustice and inequality
for women is no longer an option.
For more information,
please read:
A Solitary Sorrow
By Teri Reisser, M.S., M.F.T with Paul Reisser, M.D.
Aborted Women Silent
No More
By David C. Reardon
Deeply Damaged
By Dr. Philip G. Ney
Forbidden Grief
By Dr. Theresa Burke
Forgiven and Set Free
By Linda Cochrane
From Fallen To Forgiven
By Jennifer O'Neill
A Season to Heal
By Luci Freed & Penny Salazar
The Benevolence of
Manners
By Linda Lichter
The Goth Bible
By Nancy Kilpatick
Nelson’s New
Illustrated Bible Commentary
Earl D. Radmacher, Th. D. General Editor
David Dellman
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