IMITATION ANGEL

haven't got time to break down and I don't know how to erase

And there's one too many ghosts that occupy this space

There's a coffin filled with hate buried inside of me

At times I can feel the enmity on the verge of breaking free

It whispers to me, “You are just an imitation, you will never be real...

There's not a single soul that cares how you feel.”

White feathers shedding until they're all gone

Could there be a pedestal of hope to ever stand on?

Imitation angel embracing the darkness

Withered blooms of smiles turn my fear into a harness

I tread softly but beyond this realm I am dead

Like Sally, I am simply in pieces stitched together by a thread

With a faded pink heart sewn against my sleeve

I have found that my past was all make believe

Scribbling on pages flow like a stream beneath a bridge

A door to my soul seems to be coming unhinged

Underneath it all, I am pitch black

An empty chasm like the eyes of Jack

How this story you have written haunts me like a ghost

How I no longer exist grieves me the most

I realize you had hopes for pearls and ivory

And what I am is stone and ivy

This path I have chosen is forbidden

In all direction guilt trips are given

I place my feelings upon a breeze

to feel the strength return to my knees

No longer weak but icy cold

I'm finally real but no one knows

Underneath lies delicate bones

A crystal heart and writhing moans

Eyes reveal such disappointment

They believe I am fallen and that I'm broken

“These wings you have, they must be stolen!”

Here inside the gray I am safe from harm

The black conceals the mystery of my tender charm

To ward off those who cannot see the angel here

Inside of me

- Carolynn Rogers Larson